It’s never easy, it never has been, and it never will be as a CEO / leader of your tribe / village or whatever fancy management name you give it. If you are on a mission and take ownership of that mission, any aspect of it, then you will expose yourself to the most wonderful, yet stressful growth opportunities. Growth whether its mental, financial, or of any other kind always comes from churn and makes you question your inner most beliefs, priorities, thought processes… makes you feel very very uncomfortable. And as owner you will find yourself in this discomfort zone more of than not.
True growth comes when you learn to handle and work with and work through this discomfort and come out at the other end, stronger and wiser. You will have your own unique way of handling this growth-related discomfort. What works for others may not work for you. And that’s the beauty of it. There is no right answer, no one-size fit all… the more you work with it the better your find your own style / method of handling and growing with it…
Here are a few principles that have helped me over time…
1] Calm yourself down – Over the years the #1 thing that I believe gets the best of you in a situation is the lack of ability to calm yourself down. When you are not calm it’s very easy to lose respective. You try to achieve calmness in a few ways:
- Take a break. Remove yourself from the situation and clear your head. Make more head room. Go play your favorite sport, read book or whatever works for you.
- If it’s a time sensitive situation find options that will take away the immediate pressure and give you time to respond, aka buy time. Remember not procrastinating!
- Know when your ‘SNAP’ time is coming. If you snap, you are going to make emotional decisions in the heat of the moment. It will most probably make the situation much difficult than it was.
- Accept that things take time and learn to wait for it. Patience is one of the most useful virtues that you can have.
2] Truly seek to understand – When you find yourself in a situation that may take the better of you, just calm yourself down and truly seek to understand what’s going on. How are things / people interacting with other. You must have a desire to learn. You must be a student in every situation. Soke up and internalize like a sponge. Try to join the dots. After applying all the logic, you may find things are still not explainable. And that OK. Sometimes its take a while to reach a point where it would make sense. So, don’t get hung up. Make a note of it and come back to it later. A little mystery never hurt anyone!
3] Focus on your goal /outcome – Know what outcome you want form the situation you are in. Many a times you may find that you are letting emotions get the most of you which may result in you taking an approach that really doesn’t help you achieve your goal. So, keep reminding yourself what you want. Also, if you don’t get to your primary goal, then think of any secondary goals that you can achieve. At times you may want to give up on a situation just because the outcome is not in your favor. But in such cases adapt / evolve.
4] Ask Why and why and why and then some more – Asking why 5 times and still getting convincing answers will most definitely help you get in a situation where you will be able to take actions / decisions that you will be comfortable with. Also, as you peel the ‘WHY’ layers it will take you to the very core of your thought process and help you focus on what really matters to you and whether it’s in line with your principles.
5] Forgive and move on – Forgive yourself and those around you. Easier said than done. We are humans and we are as unique as we are unpredictable. Everyone is going through their own battles. And yes, that doesn’t give them / you to do whatever one feels like. But things will happen which may not be as expected, which may feel unfair and what not… in that case refer to #1 to #4 and repeat. The longer and heavier you carry the baggage, the slower your journey… remember above all we are Humans!
I hope this helps you find your own techniques and helps you build a framework that will make you gritty and give you the power to keep moving on…